Carolina Journal News Reports
CJ Series

Parting Shots

These are the Carolina Journal parodies that appear on Page 28 of every issue of CJ.

(4.01.15) PARODY: New GOP Incentive Plan to Feature Welfare Wednesdays
RALEIGH — Gov. Pat McCrory will propose $1 billion in bonding authority to fund a Division of Corporate Welfare based on a model concluding that, when properly administered, business incentives pay for themselves.


(1.13.15) PARODY: Dix Campus To Become Green Energy Destination Park
RALEIGH — On Monday, Gov. Pat McCrory and Raleigh Mayor Nancy McFarlane announced the outline of a proposal for the city to purchase the 308-acre Dorothea Dix campus, which for decades was the site of the state’s primary mental hospital. With those news reports in mind, Carolina Journal invites readers to revisit the parody published in CJ’s July 2014 print edition, envisioning a somewhat different outcome for the Dix property.


(12.31.14) PARODY: New Farm to Lunchroom Program Arrives at N.C. Schools
RALEIGH — The U.S. Department of Agriculture has chosen North Carolina to lead a pilot program bringing the trendy concept of farm-to-table dining to public school lunchrooms across the state. As part of the Healthy, Hunger-Free Schools Act of 2010, inspired by the advocacy of First Lady Michelle Obama, the USDA will help underwrite the cost of placing organic produce gardens, livestock grazing areas, and poultry ranges on school grounds.


(12.24.14) PARODY: McCrory’s Christmas Gift List Shows He’s No Grinch
RALEIGH — With the holidays approaching, Carolina Journal has learned that Gov. Pat McCrory plans a 2015 “charm offensive” targeting legislative leaders, his most ardent left-of-center critics, and other key players in N.C. politics and public policy. A series of internal memos uncovered by CJ details several pieces of the governor’s campaign, including a list of potential Christmas gifts for people across the political spectrum.


(8.08.14) PARODY: Tillis Targeted in Charcoal Ash Attack Ad
RALEIGH — Critics of misleading political ads say a new campaign from environmentalists has gone too far.


(3.05.14) PARODY: Crisco Seeks Celebrity Help in Primary Against Aiken
The former state commerce secretary is reaching beyond traditional campaign consultants in his bid for the 2nd Congressional District.


(6.03.13) PARODY: NAACP's ‘Moral Monday’ Too ‘Churchy,’ Says ACLU
The ACLU of North Carolina warns that overt religious references during the weekly protests at the Legislative Building may have gone over the line.


(11.08.12) PARODY: N.C. Dietetics Board Goes After Michelle Obama
The first lady finds herself the latest target of North Carolina's aggressive nutrition police. Law enforcement officials say Michelle Obama does not have a state license and should not offer nutritional and other lifestyle advice.


(6.28.12) PARODY: John Edwards Develops New Hair-Care Product Line
The Democratic former U.S. senator and presidential candidate hopes his new entrepreneurial venture will mend fences with ex-mistress Rielle Hunter.


(2.11.11) PARODY: N.C. Budget Dollars Now Called Teacher Jobs Saved
If you wonder why Golden LEAF and other economic incentives programs have fallen out of favor so quickly, you need to do the math.


(9.08.10) PARODY: Griffith to Get Larger Role Boosting Obama Agenda
EDITOR'S NOTE: A recent survey by Public Policy Polling found that North Carolina native Andy Griffith's favorability rating among his fellow Tar Heels has plummeted by 25 points since June 2008. We thought it was appropriate to publish our September 2010 parody featuring Sheriff Taylor.


(4.01.10) Hello, America, My Name is Johnny Edwards
We’ve heard from his mistress Rielle Hunter, we’ve heard from his soon-to-be-ex-wife Elizabeth, and we’ve heard from his former aide Andrew Young. Now he says, it’s time for America to hear from him about the scandals from his 2008 campaign for president of the United States.


(3.02.10) PARODY: Edwards Mistress Gets NC’s Highest Honor
Gov. Bev Perdue acknowledges the contributions Rielle Hunter has made to the state of North Carolina.


(9.30.09) PARODY: Easley and Campbell Headed for a "Dude-Vorce"
Things are getting rocky for Mike Easley and McQueen Campbell.