Archive: Parting Shot

  • PARODY: Solar farms, vineyards entwine to promote agritourism

    The North Carolina Solar Power Association is battling the perception that utility-scale solar installations, also called solar farms, are “just plain ugly,” the group’s spokeswoman, Caitlyn Vines, told Carolina Journal. The group announced a two-phase campaign, named “Sun to Sip,” linking the state’s solar farms with its vineyards and wineries.

  • PARODY: Jordan, NBA lead fight against state feline

    A proposal to name North Carolina’s state cat was purring toward passage. But the measure designating the bobcat as the state feline became entwined in controversy after basketball legend and Charlotte Hornets owner Michael Jordan began a dogged campaign to stop it, with the help of the NBA, Carolina Journal…

  • PARODY: Citing Duke loss, Rams Club wants H.B. 2 expanded

    CHAPEL HILL — Some UNC-Chapel Hill boosters think they have found a surefire way to return the Tar Heel men’s basketball team to dominance among its Triangle competitors. They’re urging boosters in other Atlantic Coast Conference states to push for laws resembling the recently repealed House Bill 2, Carolina Journal…

  • PARODY: Golden LEAF boosts wind farm/bird sanctuary center

    ELIZABETH CITY — Pasquotank County public officials learned in February that they will receive a $9 million grant from the Golden LEAF foundation to build the Amazon Wind Farm Welcome Center and Bird Sanctuary Headquarters adjacent to the recently completed wind project. The total project budget is $9.2 million, with…

  • PARODY: UNC study leads to cancellation of football programs

    Moved to action by a recently published study from UNC-Chapel Hill professor Andrew Reynolds, football coaches at colleges and universities across North Carolina — with a few exceptions — have asked the NCAA to dissolve their football programs and shift funding and resources to basketball. The study ranked North Carolina’s…

  • PARODY: Radical overhaul proposed for Council of State races

    In an attempt to prevent a repeat of the disruption and delays that ensued in this year’s governor’s race, General Assembly leaders plan to introduce a constitutional amendment that would allow Council of State candidates to choose, in order of their vote totals, which one of the 10 positions they prefer,…

  • PARODY: Lawmakers consider clown licensing

    Responding to the nationwide rise of creepy clown sightings, state lawmakers soon will consider licensing clowns. The proposed law would require county sheriffs to accept applications, perform background checks, and issue clown licenses. Under the program, which would go into effect March 31, licensees would be issued a certified clown…

  • PARODY FLASHBACK: ACC plans move to Bristol, Conn., as response to H.B. 2

    Editor’s note: With the announcement that the NCAA will move seven national championship events from North Carolina because House Bill 2 remains part of state law, and the Atlantic Coast Conference considering its own response, we chose to repeat an eerily prescient parody from the August 2016 print edition of Carolina Journal. …

  • PARODY: ABC trucks to address N.C. ‘booze deserts’

    The Legislative Research Commission’s Committee on Booze Desert Zones recently concluded that nearly 28.3 percent of North Carolinians lack adequate access to hard liquor. To remedy this, the legislative commission has recommended that a state-run fleet of trucks traveling through alcohol-deprived areas selling bottles of state-controlled hooch may be the best…