One fine Saturday in February, an epic match was played before the State Capitol that had participants on both sides reminiscing of the glory days of years long passed. Nevertheless, by the day’s end, the International Socialists thoroughly drummed the National Socialists, 500 to 35, in the Capitol’s “Battle of the Failed Ideologies.”

The challenge was issued first by the National Socialist Movement, which organized a rally at the Capitol on the pretense of celebrating George Washington’s birthday. The International Socialist movement quickly rose to the challenge. After all, there’s nothing communists hate more than Nazis, ideologically their twins except for the overt racism. Familiarity breeds contempt.

So the International Socialists in colleges and universities near the Capitol — including N.C. State, Duke, and UNC-Chapel Hill — not only were drawn to the National Socialists’ rally, but overwhelmed it. Truly, this was the kind of contest where, as commentators are wont to say, you hate to see one team lose.

The National Socialists wore their home white uniforms with trademark hoods while some of the visitors dressed in black festooned with bandanas. There was pageantry aplenty. The National Socialists brought swastika banners and the Stars and Bars flag of the Confederacy, and the International Socialists brought oversized signs, banners with swastikas crossed out, and numerous noisemakers.

As the contest began, however, it became evident that the National Socialists team didn’t show up — according to published reports, there were only 35 Nazis, skinheads, and Ku Klux Klan members hoisting placards and barking out slogans such as “Seig heil!” and “White power!” The International Socialists team, despite having been trounced repeatedly in recent years by pro-freedom groups, arrived the more motivated bunch. About 500 peaceniks, communists, Green Party members, Black Student Movement activists, and anarchists waved signs, beat homemade drums, shouted “Die, Nazi scum!” and sang to drown out their hapless rivals.

It would have been a complete rout, in fact, were it not for the intervention of officiating. The Raleigh Police Department set up barriers and at times drove the International Socialists back from the area set aside for the National Socialists. The contest saw five ejections.

Naturally, such “home cooking” from the officiating did not set well with the International Socialists, who being socialists are not too fond of enduring others’ free speech anyway — especially not those of their ugly stepsister.

As one participant put it, “I came here to try and prevent the Nazis from being able to speak, and if given the chance, to beat the s—t out of some Nazis,” he told the Duke Chronicle Feb. 23. “As it turns out, cops are like Nazis on salary, so it looks like I’m here to fight cops so I can fight Nazis.”

Another one shouted at the cops, “Why don’t you turn around and face them? They’re the ones preaching hate!” Elsewhere was heard, “Look, a pig riding a horse!”

The matchup also offered sidelines entertainment and refreshment, thanks to the “Clowns Against Klan Action.” As reported in N.C. State’s Technician Feb. 23, CAKA “sang, danced, and handed out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made with one slice of white bread and one slice of wheat. ‘They’re racial equality sandwiches,’ Matt Joyner, a junior in English, said as he danced around in his rainbow clown wig and red nose.”

Joyner said the group was inspired by the Klan. “If the Klan is going to stand up there, wear stupid costumes and say stupid things, then so should we.”

In sum, the International Socialists got to do what they do best, rail against Nazis, make noise, act self-important, and scuffle with police. The National Socialists got to go to town in their dress whites, spout hate and call themselves “Grand Imperial Wizards” and other such dressed-up, Harry Potter-esque sobriquets. Overall, a good time was had by all.

Jon Sanders is assistant editor of Carolina Journal.