RALEIGH — The words still elevate the reader to a lofty perch from which to view the sad state of affairs in much of the world then and now:
In Congress, July 4, 1776
THE UNANIMOUS DECLARATION OF THE THIRTEEN
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.
That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.
That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.
Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government.
We Americans still celebrate the issuance of this Declaration of Independence — a document that history attributes to the authorship of Thomas Jefferson but in truth bears the imprint of several collaborators and the strong influence of John Locke. But can July 4th still properly be commemorated as the founding of the country in which we now reside?
Given recent events in the political and judicial spheres, one might well construct a new version of the document that would more accurately reflect the guiding philosophy of our government today:
In Congress, the U.S. Supreme Court, and various unelected regulatory bodies that pretty much do whatever they please, 2003
THE CURRENT SENTIMENT OF A DIVERSE GROUP OF CARING, COMPASSIONATE, ENLIGHTENED, PROGRESSIVE, AND HUMBLE PERSONS WHO ARE CITIZENS OF THE WORLD BUT WHO CURRENTLY RESIDE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
When in the Course of human (and animal) events, it becomes necessary for one demographic statistical unit to dissolve the political bands which have connected others to it, and to assume among the Powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s interpreters — university professors — entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of peoplekind (and animals) requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these feelings to sound very progressive at cocktail parties, that all people (and animals) are created equal — unless we are talking about universities, corporations, the military, private golf clubs, Rotary clubs, chess clubs, and dance clubs, where the Government reserves the right to decide who is more equal than others — and that they are endowed by their government with certain Rights, be they illegal aliens or not, that among these are to live their lives liberated from bad luck, earthly wants, and unhappiness.
That to expand these rights on whim, even when they contradict each other, Governments are instituted among people (and animals), deriving their just powers from the consent of the governors in charge at the time.
That whenever any form of Private initiative becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Government to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government-run enterprises, laying their foundation on such principles and organizing their powers in such form, as to bureaucrats shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness — that is, of the bureaucrats (and animals). Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes, such as those associated with elections or public referenda; and accordingly all experience has shown, that peoplekind (and animals) are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, until Governments come along to solve their problems for them in ways to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object of making a free people independent and self-reliant, evinces a design to get them out from under absolute Despotism, it is the right, it is the duty, of those in Government to throw off outdated notions such as fixed constitutions and abstract principles of individual liberty, and to provide new Guards with a monopoly on gun ownership for their future security — meaning the security of Government officials (and animals).
Such has been the patient sufferance of these members of Congress, the judiciary, and regulatory bodies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government.
Just kinda rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? In celebrating this new Declaration of Dependence, Americans should probably consider changing their holiday traditions a bit. Veggie burgers and chick-pea dogs should be prepared, but only using a solar-powered grill. Marching bands should play gentle ballads and be encouraged to express themselves — march in any direction they feel like, play if they want to, or just sit down and appreciate diversity. Patriotic speeches should focus on what’s deeply, horribly wrong with America, as that is the mark of a true patriot. As for fireworks, applications for their limited use will have to be handled by the appropriate authorities, who are still in the process of convening a search committee to establish a study commission to evaluate a citizen advisory panel’s recommendations as to how to process applications to obtain non-violent fireworks, preferably those of native cultures that pay a living wage and respect the dignity of all persons (and animals).
Hood is president of the John Locke Foundation and publisher of Carolina Journal.