North Carolina Senator John Edwards returned briefly to his home state over the holidays, where he announced that, counter to years of public speculation, he had decided to run for president. The announcement captured the imagination and airtime of television news.

Following is a list generated by “Googley,” the search engine for media sycophancy, of relevant TV shows and their descriptions, arranged according to date.

Crossing Over
Sci-Fi Network, Dec. 31, 11 p.m.
John Edward sounds like he’s “channeling” old dead folks and wows easily gulled people with clever parlor tricks and pre-researched answers to make them believe he can give deceased family members and favorite pets a voice — his.

Glossing Over
ABC, CBS, NBC, etc., Jan. 1, 6:30 p.m.
John Edwards sounds like he’s channeling old socialists and wows easily gulled reporters with clever, pat responses and pre-researched sound bytes to make them believe he can give “regular people” a voice in Washington — his.

Crossing Over
Sci-Fi Network, Jan. 1, 11 p.m.
John Edward connects with mutt “Rover,” the recently passed lapdog of a gushing woman in the audience. The dog admits wishing he’d spent more time “chomping regular people.”

Misting Over
“Today,” NBC, Jan. 2, 7 a.m.
John Edwards connects with “Matt Lauer,” the amiable lapdog of the gushing Katie Couric. The candidate admits wishing to be a “champion of regular people.”

Crossing Over
Sci-Fi Network, Jan. 2, 11 p.m.
John Edward has two lunatics jumping out of their chairs when he connects with their uprooted bush, but they frequently interrupt him to argue among themselves.

Crossfire
CNN, Jan. 3, 7 p.m.
John Edwards has Paul Begala and James Carville jumping out of their chairs to talk about his chances to unseat Bush, frequently interrupting Robert Novak while Tucker Carlson argues with himself.

Crossing Over
Sci-Fi Network, Jan. 3, 11 p.m.
John Edward contacts a small Iowan woman, who lived to be just over 100 before she died during bypass surgery.

Passing Plover
Jan. 4 (televised regionally if at all)
John Edwards bypasses the small Iowa town, with a population of just over 100, to make contacts in larger cities.

Crossing Over
Sci-Fi Network, Jan. 4, 11 p.m.
John Edward fields questions about an audience member’s duck and connects another audience member with a fellow 1980s big-hair rock band member.

Moussing Over
“This Week with George Stephanopoulos,” ABC, Jan. 5, 10:30 a.m.
John Edwards ducks tough questions from George Will and fields softball questions from Stephanopoulos. Edwards connects with the 1990s Clinton administration member.