RALEIGH — Drastic budget cuts imperil the educational mission of the University of North Carolina — or so say its pitiful, pitiable denizens.

A Sunday story in The Herald-Sun of Durham relates the tear-jerking story. “Decades from now, students of history at UNC may have some trouble doing research dating back to 2002 or 2003,” the story begins. “Materials from this time period, they may find, simply aren’t available on their campus.”

And why not? Because the short-sighted legislature in Raleigh hasn’t provided enough funds to libraries and other UNC departments. “Last year, UNC’s operating budget was shaved about 13 percent; this year, the cut is about 4 percent so far,” the newspaper reports.

The expression “cry me a river” comes to mind, only the UNC folks have apparently already thought of it. Their rhetorical tears have been streaming down from the heights of Chapel Hill for a while now. Perhaps they expected the result to be a raging river of righteous indignation, washing over their political tormentors in Raleigh (who are very much “downstream” in the minds of Chapel Hillians).

Instead, I think the result is closer to a Big Muddy.

I doubt seriously that average North Carolinians believe their state university system to be down to its last farthing. In this, they show good sense. For example, the notion that future historians won’t be able to research events in 2002 and 2003 because of state budget cuts is preposterous, akin to saying that the ranks of UNC employees have been so thinned that they can no longer afford even to take out the garbage.

Actually, UNC made that allegation in The Herald-Sun story, as well.

OK, it would be like saying that a university system that gets $1.8 billion a year in state tax dollars can’t even afford to run its copy machines.

Rats, foiled again! “We maybe decide that we have to have the Xerox machine, so we let something else go,” said one administrator, no doubt between sobs. “At this moment we can still make phone calls, but we’ll have to see.”

Perhaps these sorrowful tales of woe would be more persuasive if the UNC system budget had, in fact, been cut at all. According to the General Fund numbers in the new state budget, however, the university system actually got a small increase in each of the next two fiscal years, for a total of $54 million more in 2004-05 than authorized for 2002-03. Granted, this is far smaller than the rapid growth UNC budgets have posted in past years. But it’s also deceptively small. Some of the reduced funding growth doesn’t actually consist of fewer dollars coming into UNC. Rather, it reflects (modest) tuition increases that displace General Fund spending but do not constitute a reduction of the overall budget. In addition, hidden away in the budgets for capital construction and debt service are hundreds of millions of dollars a year for building and refurbishing facilities across the system.

Plus, one might contrast UNC’s relatively good budget result this year with that of the community college system, which really did get a cut in state support (albeit a small, $9 million one).

Now let me add a qualifier. Yes, I know that the UNC libraries take hits whenever the administration gets pressed for cash. I’m not questioning the fact that administrators are withholding funds from libary acquisition budgets. But that’s primarily a failure to set priorites, not evidence of insufficient taxpayer subsidies. What about using some overhead receipts from UNC’s research grants to buy books and journals? That would actually represent an “overhead” expense, unlike some of the travel and entertainment expenses that get covered by the receipts.

All in all, whatever weeping is going on over in Chapel Hill is the kind they teach at the Department of Dramatic Art — which, come to think of it, is housed in a pretty impressive building. I do hope someone will find a spare moment to empty its trash cans.

Hood is president of the John Locke Foundation and publisher of Carolina Journal.